Tom Brady Gets Roasted With Jaw-Dropping NSFW Jokes Over Gisele Bündchen’s New Romance

Tom Brady can be a good sport, even when he's being humiliated on TV.

The former NFL player found himself in the, uh, red zone during Netflix's The Greatest Roast of All Time on May 5. And, unsurprisingly, his ex-wife Gisele Bündchen was at the center of several jaw-dropping jokes.

"Gisele gave you an ultimatum," Kevin Hart began. "She said you have to retire or you're done." However, he continued, referencing Tom's record in his last NFL season, "when you have a chance to go 8-9, and all it will cost you is your wife and your kids, you've got to do what the f--k you've got to do."

Referring to Tom's relationship with Patriots coach Bill Belichick, which remained close even after he left the team and won a championship with Tampa Bay, Kevin added, "Tom, you f--ked your coach. But let me tell you something, people—that's what you've got to do to maintain your happiness."

"You know who else f--ked their coach? Gisele," he continued. "She f--ked that karate man."

The model and Tom—who share kids Benjamin, 14, and Vivian, 11—finalized their divorce in October 2022. She then began dating jiu-jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente, denying there was no inappropriate behavior during her 13-year marriage to Tom.  

"How did you not see this coming?" the comedian asked. "Eight karate classes a day, and she's still a white belt. F--k Tom. The only bruises she had were on her ass."

Meanwhile, former Patriots quarterback Drew Bledsoe—who Tom replaced as the starter on the team in 2001—was also in attendance. "You have more rings than I do," he noted. "But I've experienced a couple of things that you will never experience: The feeling of being the overall number one draft pick in the NFL and a 28th wedding anniversary."

Nikki Glaser also took shots at Tom's recent split, adding, "You have seven rings. Well, eight now that Gisele gave hers back."

"The only thing dumber than you saying yes to this roast is when you said, 'Hey babe, you should try jiu-jitsu," she continued. "How much must it suck knowing that your ex-wife's new boyfriend can beat your ass while eating hers? That's got to be terrible."

Although stars like Andrew Schulz, Jeff Ross and former Patriots teammate Julian Edelman also made jokes about his relationship with Gisele, Tom took all the hits in stride. 

In fact, at the end of his roast, Tom scored the final points, saying, "There have been a lot of jokes tonight, but I miss the love of my life—football."

Now read on to relive more of Tom's relationship with his second former love.

Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady, their kids Vivian Brady and Benjamin Brady and Tom's son John Edward Thomas Moynahan pose together for a Super Bowl 2021 family photo.

The two pose on Valentine's Day.

The two pose for a selfie in 2019.

The 40-year-old posted a fab photo of the couple in June gushing, "Yes I do! Feliz dia dos namorados! Te amo muito!"

"Happy Birthday! What a great year it has been! We love you so much! Let me count the ways...." wrote the football legend in a hot post for his wife's 38th birthday.

Happy Mother's Day! The football player posted a family photo with his wife and kids to Instagram with the Portuguese caption, "Te amo muito! Feliz Dia da Mães!"

Keeping with the "Heavenly Bodies" theme of the 2018 Met Gala, the awe-inspiring pair looked absolutely angelic in each other's arms.

After the Patriots' stunning loss to the Eagles in the 2018 Super Bowl, the football stud's wife posted a heartfelt message to Instagram. "Congratulations Eagles for winning the Super bowl, what a game that was! Congratulations Patriots for giving your best and to my love, we are incredibly proud of you because we are able to see every day all the commitment, sacrifice and hard work that you have devoted to become the best in what you do. We love you!"

The Brazilian model showed her support for her football star before the big 2018 Super Bowl LII game in Minnesota. 

In celebration of her hubby's big win at the AFC Championship game, the actress planted a kiss on his cheek and gushed on Insta, "What a game!!! Congratulations my love! So happy for you and your teammates! #gopats."

"Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from our family to yours! A morning snowstorm and Santa's visit make for an extra special day! Love, Peace, Joy, and Happiness to you all!" greeted the star athlete in a sweet Christmas post.

On Halloween, the lovebirds looked like the perfect pair in their toast and avocado costumes.

"There is nothing better than being with you," Gisele writes in honor of Father's Day 2017. Tom gets caught in a pile up with his three children Vivian, Benjamin and John. 

With another Super Bowl title comes another Super Bowl ring. Gisele shares this photo on her Instagram of the cute couple on their way to the ring ceremony in June 2017. 

The couple takes the Met Gala red carpet by storm in matching metallics once more in May 2017. 

The happy couple share a kiss between the madness as Tom wins his 5th Super Bowl title in February 2017. 

"Love being your partner in the dance of life," Gisele writes in celebration of the couple's 8th wedding anniversary in February 2017. 

The pair stops by the American Museum of Natural History in honor of National Geographic's 'Years Of Living Dangerously' newest season in September 2016.  

Gisele posts a sweet message for her husband's birthday on Instagram, while the two are apart. "We miss you and wish we could be with you today," she captions the photo in August 2016.  

The doting husband supports his beautiful wife at her Spring Fling book launch in NYC on April 30, 2016. 

 

The pair share a kiss in the sand while vacationing on a Costa Rican beach in March 2016. 

The lovebirds leaned on each other to stay warm during  their son Benjamin's hockey game in early 2016.

The couple enjoys a romantic date night at the movies.

The beleaguered duo step out in New York in August 2015, their first sighting together since Tom appealed his Deflategate suspension.

 

The couple enjoy the fruits of their labors in paradise with the kids and Gisele shares the memory on Tom's 38th birthday.

The couple take a dip on a family vacay in Costa Rica in March 2014.

Gisele congratulates her man on the Patriots' win in Super Bowl XLIX, his fourth championship.

The Cowardly Lion finally manned up and planted one on Dorothy.

The couple enjoy a jaunt back to Gisele's native Brazil for the 2014 World Cup Final match between Germany and Argentina.

Tom and Gisele enjoy a May 2015 day in the park with the kids and Bridget Moynahan, mom of Tom's eldest son, John Edward Thomas Moynahan.

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