'Choose joy': Daughter of woman killed by Texas death row inmate finds peace

When Texas executes a death row inmate for the murder of Nancy Adelman 27 years ago on Wednesday, Adelman's daughter won't be there. Instead, she's choosing to gather by a river with friends and family for an afternoon of "play and laughter."

Sarah Adelman was 16 years old when her mother Nancy was murdered while out on a jog in Houston on July 29, 1997. Now Sarah's 43 and a mother herself.

Although many victim family members decide to witness the executions of those who have killed their loved ones, Adelman is choosing something else.

"I think the greatest way to honor my mother’s life is to be present with the joy in mind," Sarah Adleman told USA TODAY. "We will have a gratitude and a forgiveness ceremony, a funeral of sorts. A letting go of the past 27 years."

As the execution of her mother's killer, Arthur Lee Burton, approaches, USA TODAY is looking back at Nancy Adelman's life, what made her special and the complicated emotions her loved ones are experiencing.

Who was Nancy Adleman?

Nancy Adleman grew up the eldest of three children in East Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in a house built by her father, who bred orchids and named one after his daughter, Sarah Adleman told USA TODAY. Nancy spent many childhood days sailing in a small boat in a pond on the property and participated in summer stock theater.

Nancy got a theater degree from Louisiana State University and a master of fine arts from the University of Minnesota before moving to Houston in the late 1970s, her daughter said.

Nancy, who began writing poetry when she was 11, went on to publish collections throughout her life. She was also a playwright and before she was killed, was performing a one-woman play about four women from the Bible titled "Expectancies," Sarah Adleman said.

Nancy and her husband Mark had been married for 18 years and "watched the sunset almost nightly in the backyard," Sarah Adleman said. While Sarah was 16 when her mother was killed, her brother Geoff was 14 and her other brother Zach was just 6.

All of Nancy's children have married and combined have three children.

Sarah Adleman said she will always remember her mother as a joyful person.

"She woke most mornings to pray, meditate (and) write before anyone else was awake," Sarah Adleman recalled about her mother. "She understood that joy is a choice and taped pieces of paper all over our house that said, 'Choose Joy.'"

What happened to Nancy Adleman?

Nancy Adleman left her northwest Houston home around 7 p.m. on July 29, 1997, to go on a short jog along Brays Bayou, something she did often.

But she didn't come home that night and the next morning, police found her badly beaten body in a 4-foot hole in a heavily wooded area along Brays Bayou.

Burton confessed to attempting to rape Adleman and strangling her with her own shoelaces and later told a prison psychologist that the murder was "just something I couldn't help," according to court records. He was found guilty by a Texas jury in June 1998 and later sentenced to death, a penalty he's still fighting.

"For any woman who has ever exercised alone, or walked to their car alone at night, this case is their worst nightmare," Josh Reiss, chief of the Post-Conviction Writ Division of the Harris County District Attorney’s Office, told USA TODAY.

Sarah Adleman wrote a book about her mother

Sarah Adleman said she did not have the intention of writing a book about her mother, but rather "The Lampblack Blue of Memory: My Mother Echoes” started as her graduate thesis.

"I wanted to create something that enveloped the human condition and began the process with whiteboards and a few broad themes like 'Joy,' 'Cause & Effect,' 'Choice,' and 'Forgiveness,'" she said. "Under 'Forgiveness' I wrote “God forgives you and I do, too' − the last words my mother spoke to the man who took her life.'"

Whether Sarah Adleman wrote anything or not, she said she "had to go through it − move through the sorrow, feel the pain (and) invite it in."

"I’d certainly processed much of the grief over the preceding years, but I’d not returned to the memories of those first few days," she said. "There was so much to sit with. So often, we think we need to just 'be OK' or believe that everyone else is happy and untouched by sadness or grief. But loss is the one thing everyone experiences. Sorrow is what connects us to one another ... There is great comfort in that."

Sarah included some of her mother's poetry in the book, saying that she wanted her mother's words to continue on. It was published in 2019.

Family's plans for execution

Nancy Adleman's husband Mark and oldest son Geoff will be witnessing Burton's execution in Huntsville, just north of Houston, according to Sarah Adleman.

Although Sarah decided not to go, she said she hopes Burton has "found peace of some sort." 

Sarah Adleman said she wants people to remember her mother as someone who "chose joy."

"Life is a constant choice," she said. "We may not have control over our external circumstances, but we do have control over our minds — our thoughts and habits. The choices we make today create the reality of tomorrow so choose joy. Choose connection. Choose love."