How Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Are Raising Daughter Lili Diana Out of the Spotlight

"To have a boy and then a girl, you know, what more can you ask for?"

So Prince Harry said a few months before Meghan Markle gave birth to their daughter, Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor on June 4, 2021, making their son Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor a big brother and seeing their plan to fruition.

"We've got our family," Harry told Oprah Winfrey in one of the less eyebrow-raising and more aww-inspiring moments of his and Meghan's bombshell-packed sit-down with their Montecito, Calif., neighbor. "We've got the four of us and our two dogs, and it's great."

Added then-pregnant Meghan, "Two is it."

So when Harry pulled their "precious daughter from that world into this," as he described the moment Lili was born in his 2023 memoir Spare, their family was, indeed, complete.

Back home, he noted, the "sacred airspace" near the kitchen reserved for her playpen, toys and stuffed animals was christened "Lili Land."

And that could have been the and-they-lived-happily-ever-after capper for the branch of the royal family that moved to California rather than be increasingly unhappy living in a fish bowl in the U.K.

Instead, Harry and Meghan went on to divulge much more about what led to their decision to relocate, even opening their 18,000-square-foot home to cameras for a 2022 Netflix docuseries that, in addition to providing them a global platform to air their grievances, gave a glimpse into their life as parents.

But just a glimpse, because—while their kids remain unwitting celebrities as Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet of Sussex, now sixth and seventh in line to the British throne since their paternal grandfather became King Charles III—the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have not gone the route that would have been expected of them as senior royals.

"We've been really conscious of protecting our kids as best as we can," Meghan said in the series, "and also understanding the role that they play in this really historic family."

Welcoming Archie into the world their way proved controversial enough—some longtime royal watchers were scandalized by their refusal to share a birth plan and their desire for a relatively private christening—but since he was born in London while his mum and dad were still senior royals, they pretty much played ball. Archie even went on his first royal tour to Africa at 4 months old.

But there was no one to cater to, other than general inquiring minds, when Lili was born at Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital three years ago. And, brief foray into a six-episode docuseries aside, they've stuck to their intent to raise their babies out of the spotlight.

Which meant their May tour of Nigeria was a kids-free trip, though the children were there in spirit.

"That's Lili's favorite class," Meghan, who apparently has a budding performer back home, told a class of kindergartners at Lightway Academy in Abuja who danced and sang for the VIP visitors.

Speaking to a group of older children, Meghan applauded the inner strength the kids exhibited just by showing up when the going got tough.

"Our daughter, Lili, she's much, much tinier than you guys," she noted. "She's about to turn 3. And a few weeks ago she looked at me and she would just see the reflection in my eyes. And she said, 'Mama, I see me in you.'"

Of course, Lili literally was seeing tiny images of herself in her mom's retina. "But I hung onto those words in a very different way," Meghan added. "And I thought, yes, I do see me and you, and you see me and you, but as I look around this room, I see myself in all of you as well." 

Meghan also lamented not being home for Mother's Day on May 12 (which was far less eventful for the royals than U.K. Mother's Day March 10), telling an audience at the State Governor House in Lagos that "of course we are missing our children." 

They returned home a few days later. Where, Meghan acknowledged, there really isn't such a thing as balance when it comes to the whole work-life conversation.

"What I think that to mean now is that that balance will always change for you," she reflected during a Women in Leadership event during the trip. "That balance, what seems balanced 10 years ago is going to shift. And so being a mom has always been a dream of mine. And I'm so fortunate that we have two beautiful, healthy, very chatty sweet children."

His son and daughter were "doing great," Harry said on Good Morning America in February. "They both have got an incredible sense of humor and make us laugh and keep us grounded every single day, like most kids do."

So, private as they may be, it's hard to not talk about your kids at all when you're bursting with pride.

Read on for all the insight Harry and Meghan have shared about their life as parents:

"I don't think you can force these things. It will happen when it's gonna happen," he told Sky News back in 2015 when asked if the birth of his niece Princess Charlotte made him think about settling down. "Of course, I would love to have kids right now, but there's a process that one has to go through."

Years ago, Meghan even made a purchase with her future daughter in mind. "I've always coveted the Cartier French Tank watch. When I found out Suits had been picked up for our third season—which, at the time, felt like such a milestone—I totally splurged and bought the two-tone version," she recalled to Hello! in 2015. "I had it engraved on the back, 'To M.M. From M.M.' and I plan to give it to my daughter one day."

Fatherhood is a subject that—along with marriage—has long trailed Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana's younger son. "There have been moments through life, especially when we do a tour abroad, when I think, 'I'd love to have kids now'... And then there are other times when I bury my head in the sand going, 'All right, don't need kids!' There's no rush. I tell you what: There's been times I've been put off having children," he admitted to People back in May 2016, shortly before meeting his future wife. 

In 2017, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex revealed their engagement and sat for their first joint interview. Naturally, the topic of future kids came up. "Of course. You know, I think you know one step at a time, and hopefully, we'll start a family in the near future," Prince Harry said at the time with Meghan smiling beside him.

"It's magic," Meghan said about becoming a mum following Archie's birth. "It's pretty amazing and, I mean, I have the two best guys in the world, so I'm really happy."

Following Archie's birth in May 2019, Harry gushed, "It's been the most amazing experience I can ever possibly imagine. How any woman does what they do is beyond comprehension but we're both absolutely thrilled and so grateful for all the love and support from everybody out there. It's been amazing so we just wanted to share this with everybody."

Harry reflected on the lessons he's learned since becoming a parent during a speech at the National Youth Mentoring Summit in 2019. He shared, "I'm struck by a few things today, most of which is the power of the invisible role model. The person who may be sitting here today that doesn't realize that someone looks up to them that—for that person—you inspire them to be kinder, better, greater, more successful, more impactful. Perhaps it's the newfound clarity I have as a father knowing that my son will always be watching what I do, mimicking my behavior, one day maybe even following in my footsteps."

"Our little man is our No. 1 priority but then our work after that is the second priority," Prince Harry shared during a speaking engagement in 2020, "and we're just doing everything we can to try and play our part in trying to make the world a better place."

Harry and Meghan found a silver lining amid the coronavirus pandemic through baby Archie. "In so many ways we are fortunate to be able to have this time to watch him grow, and in the absence of COVID, we would be traveling and working more externally," Meghan shared in October 2020. "We'd miss a lot of those moments. So I think it's been a lot of really good family time."

Harry added, "We were both there for Archie's first steps, his first run, his first fall, everything."

In May 2021, Meghan made a rare TV appearance during Global Citizen's VAX Live: The Concert to Reunite the World special. The former actress opened up about her pregnancy and shared her excitement about raising a daughter. "My husband and I are thrilled to soon be welcoming a daughter. It's a feeling of joy we share with millions of other families around the world," she said at the time. "When we think of her, we think of all the young women and girls around the globe who must be given the ability and the support to lead us forward."

She added, "Their future leadership depends on the decisions we make and the actions we take now to set them up, and set all of us up, for a successful, equitable and compassionate tomorrow."

Meghan makes a brief cameo in her husband's Apple TV+ series with Oprah, The Me You Can't See. During her appearance, the California native seemingly pays tribute to her growing family with a shirt that reads, "Raising the Future."

The couple welcomed their baby girl. In a statement shared on their Archewell Foundation page, they gushed, "On June 4th, we were blessed with the arrival of our daughter, Lili. She is more than we could have ever imagined, and we remain grateful for the love and prayers we've felt from across the globe. Thank you for your continued kindness and support during this very special time for our family."

On June 8, 2021, Meghan will release her first children's book, The Bench, which is a celebration of fatherhood from a mother's perspective. Of her new project, she said in a press release in May, "The Bench started as a poem I wrote for my husband on Father's Day, the month after Archie was born. That poem became this story."

In an October 2021 letter to then-House Speaker Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Chuck Schumer explaining her support for mandatory paid parental leave in the U.S., Meghan wrote of being "overjoyed" but "overwhelmed" when her daughter was born when the pandemic was still preventing business as usual in hospitals, schools, etc.

"Like fewer parents, we weren't confronted with the harsh reality of either spending those first few critical months with our baby or going back to work," she wrote. "We knew we could take her home, and in that vital (and sacred) stage, devote any and everything to our kids and to our family. We knew that by doing so we wouldn't have to make impossible choices about childcare, work, and medical care that so many have to make every single day."

Meghan continued, "No family should be faced with these decisions. No family should have to choose between earning a living and having the freedom to take care of their child (or a loved one, or themselves, as we would see with a comprehensive paid leave plan)."

On TODAY in April 2022, Harry shared that separating parenting from his work-at-home routine was pretty much a nonstarter.

"Archie spends more time interrupting our Zoom calls than anybody else," he said. "He also gets them often as well, so that's a nice thing."

Harry noted that he could already see his own sly sense of humor in his son. "I always try and keep that," he added. "I think that the cheekiness is something that keeps you alive."

Meghan admitted she was concerned for her—and everybody else's—kids in the age of social media.

"Being a mom is the most important thing in my entire life—outside, of course, being a wife to this one," she said, gesturing to Harry, during an October 2023 talk at the Archewell Foundation Parents' Summit: Mental Wellness in the Digital Age, part of Project Healthy Minds' World Mental Health Day

"But I will say," she added, "I feel fortunate that our children are at an age, again quite young, so this isn't in our immediate future, but I also feel frightened at how it's continuing to change and this will be in front of us."

Noting that "the days are long but the years are short" as a parent, Meghan continued, "Everyone is affected by the online world and social media. We all just want to feel safe."

"Our daughter, Lili, she's much, much tinier than you guys," Meghan told a class of kindergarteners during a May 2024 visit to Lightway Academy in Abuja, Nigeria. "She's about to turn 3. And a few weeks ago, she looked at me and she would just see the reflection in my eyes. And she [goes], 'Mama, I see me in you.'"

"Now, she was talking really literally," Meghan added. "But I hung onto those words in a very different way. And I thought, 'Yes, I do see me in you, and you see me in you.'"