Don Johnson is getting candid about a few of Dakota Johnson's vices. 

In fact, the Miami Vice alum held nothing back when it came to talking about the Fifty Shades of Grey actress' childhood, namely, her love of a few, not so savory pranks.

"Dakota was—she was a very eventful child," Don explained on the Nov. 7 episode Jimmy Kimmel Live! "You wanted to be very mindful about leaving blank sheets of paper laying around on your desk or stuff like that, because she would promptly draw a large penis on it."

But it wasn't just penis drawings, as Don—who shares Dakota with ex-wife Melanie Griffith, and also dad to son Jesse, 41, with ex Patti D'Arbanville as well as kids Atherton, 24, Jasper, 22, and Deacon, 18, with wife Kelley Phleger—shared that Dakota had several other pranks she would play around the house.

"If I would leave my phone laying around anywhere, just kind of unattended," he recalled, "she would get on the phone and somehow get into my contacts and send obscene messages to random people."

Of course, Jimmy—who has mentioned before about living next door to Dakota—was delighted by the revelations, sharing that he also used to prank his dad with penis sketches around the house and now his son Billy, 7, does it to him.

Don joked, "Oh, well that's why you're neighbors."

Jimmy—who is also dad to daughter Jane, 10, with wife Molly McNearney, as well as children Katie, 33, and Kevin, 31, with ex Gina Maddy—couldn't help but agree. He added, "Yeah, maybe that's the community we moved into."

The late night host, 56, and Dakota have previously detailed life in their neighborhood, with Jimmy even telling the 35-year-old on a June episode of his show that he appreciated what a generally lovely and quiet neighbor she was.

To which the Madame Web made an unfortunately-timed admission. "Actually, I'm glad I was gonna see you today," she explained, "because I've been meaning to tell you—this sounds like a setup—but I actually meant to tell you that I started construction on the house today." 

According to Dakota, a huge eucalyptus tree fell on her house during the storms that hit Los Angeles earlier this year, and she needed to make repairs. And it turns out the duo had previously discussed their tree situations.

"Hold on a second," he said, "didn't I send you an email telling you you have to be sure to cut down your tree cause it's gonna fall on your house?"

He noted that it was the tree he called "the widow maker tree."

But as Dakota quipped, "No that's the one that could fall on your house."

For more of Dakota's most hilarious moments, keep reading.

In perhaps one of her most infamous TV moments, Dakota Johnson called out Ellen DeGeneres for not attending her 30th birthday party.  

After the comedian joked on a 2019 episode of her eponymous talk show that she "wasn't invited," Dakota dryly retorted, "Actually, no—that's not the truth, Ellen."

The actress proceeded to point out that Ellen gave her "a bunch of s--t" the last time she was on the show about not being invited, so Dakota made sure she was included on the guest list this time around.

"I didn't even know you liked me," Dakota told Ellen. "I did invite you, but you didn't come."

 

When asked about the viral Ellen interview four years later, Dakota simply told L'Officiel, "It will haunt me."

Dakota got very candid about her experience filming the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise years after its final movie, revealing that author E.L. James "had a lot of creative control" and "demanded that certain things happen."

"There were parts of the books that just wouldn't work in a movie, like the inner monologue, which was at times incredibly cheesy," she told Vanity Fair in 2022, explaining how the writer often clashed with the studio and the director. "It was like mayhem all the time."

In fact, Dakota believes no one would've signed onto the project if they "had known at the time that's what it was going to be like."

As she noted, "It would've been like, 'Oh, this is psychotic.'"

E.L. has not publicly responded to Dakota's comments.

Who knew an innocent comment about limes would go viral? But that was what happened to Dakota after her 2020 house tour with Architectural Digest, during which she pointed to a bowl of limes in her kitchen and raved, "I love limes. I love them so much. They're great, and I like to present them like this in my house."

However, Dakota later admitted that it was all "set dressing."

"I'm actually allergic to limes," she confessed during a 2021 appearance on The Tonight Show. "So, I lied."

When the first trailer of Madame Web dropped in November 2023, the internet became fascinated with Dakota's monotonous delivery of the line: "He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died."

Though the phrase quickly became a meme across the web, it failed to ensnare Dakota's attention—subsequently leading to another meme-able moment when she later expressed her confusion over its popularity.

"Why did that go viral?" she stoically asked an interviewer who mentioned the meme. "I have no idea what that's about."

Dakota added of her viral line, "That seems like a basic storyline to me."

Dakota—who is the daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson—didn't hold back her thoughts on Hollywood's nepo baby debate, when she told Today in a February 2024 interview, "When that first started, I found it to be incredibly annoying and boring." 

While speaking to Andrew Garfield about how they often cross paths at Hollywood events, Dakota admitted to taking out her hair extensions and giving them to fellow partygoers. 

"At those parties, I’d probably get a little drunk and then just take them out," she shared in a Vanity Fair sit-down, "and put them in men’s jacket pockets because they’re so annoying and I’d just find a place to put them."

Above all else, Dakota (understandably) puts sleep as "my number one priority in life."

"I'm not functional if I get less than 10," she told WSJ. Magazine in December 2023. "I can easily go 14 hours."

"How much stuff can Dakota Johnson fit in her gap teeth?" Well, a lot—as she candidly demonstrated in a 2017 video of the same name.

Among the objects included a toothpick, a credit card and $1100 in cash.

"That's my only skill," she quipped in the clip, adding, "Dad, are you watching this?"

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